Gang Banging Will Never Die

I believe it was my father who once told me, "When does James Bond ever find the time to shit?" And it is with these words of wisdom that I excuse myself for the massive "hiatus" I have taken after publishing only two posts. I have been overwhelmingly busy and lacking creativity for the past two weeks.

Here are some of the things that have been passing the hours in place of "blogging":

sun bathing; regular bathing; not bathing; stepping in dog shit then proceeding to step on my skateboard (thus stamping the shit of dog onto my griptape); drinking Sangria in the parc; breaking my phone parcouring in Parc Guell (Parcouring in Parcs: video coming soon!); slaying babes in Madrid; witnessing the homie Brooks's magnificent display of America in Europe (Right. More to come later.); eating za with a fork and knife (and everything else including chicken fingers and fries); watching Z Boi slay babes from afar; chompin' prawns; smelling the mysterious surges of weed being smoked; sitting in hipster bars reeking of fresh vomit; envying the gelled-hair, blue and white stripe buttoned-up assortment of Boners (not the technical term; i.e. not referring to an erection) deciding which vodka-filled, cigarette-cloud engulfed Chica* will be in the next Taken sequel, etc.

(*Gypsy Diva Betch)

In an ode to MainGrain, here is and upd8 for Z-Boi: He's still back-180ing like a champ, babe-watching, and claiming he doesn't smoke cigarettes.

Homoerotic Compliment of the Week: Zach's so smooth, even his falls are characteristic of the ashes floating off of my doobie.

Primeros Euros:

First Euro Babe Caught Admiring my Mustache: Yeah right. :(

First Euro Mustache Moment: Passionate. Just minutes ago I saw a hatted hipster setting up his guitar in the metro station. Initially thinking it was Langhorne Slim, I noticed he bore a mustache identical to mine. Our eyes met for only a second, but the moment mirrored a meeting of souls. Mi gemelo.

First Euro Chica Witnessed in Lingerie: My Señora, Nieves. Although I was aware of the Europeans' ability to be comfortable showing some skin, I did not expect to walk into the kitchen this morning to find my grandchild obsessed, 65 year old host-mom cooking clams in her bra. Although the encounter was hangover-destroyingly awkward and disturbing, she did not seem to care, and it provided me with another check off my list.

This is just a "quick" summary, but more to come soon. Its a brewin'. Heart, hug. Paz Fuera.

(Right: Jessica showing how its done. Belowish: Slim, check him out)